Their Human's Mate
by Mononoke-hime x sukai kurora
Summary: Are you sure this is a good idea, Miso? Two kittens are determined to find a place where they belong, but instead of a forty year old unmarried woman who will treat them like Gods, they find Ishida Uryu. They find themselves involved in finding a mate for their poor unsuspecting human.


I created the speech for the narrators similar to the _Warriors_ series. As such, their words are rather confusing. Pelts indicate clothes or hair; box-like objects indicate items in the kitchen or an apartment complex; the images are photos; kits are children and young adults; and mates are considered romantic partners. I hope you enjoy, and please tell me what you think!

* * *

 _Their Human's Mate_

 _Miso, are you_ sure _this is a good idea?_

Two little kittens were lying beside a box-like object that had many humans inside. Their fur was still downy soft, and looked adorable. Several young female kits cooed at them, and several younger kits also tried to pet them enthusiastically before the two managed to get away. _Filthy humans,_ sniffed the older brother. _Why don't they take time to wash their fur?_ His fur was white with patches of dark brown against his four paws and had a dark red tip to his tail. The other kitten beside him had dark fur, black as midnight, and had dark orange ears.

 _Of course._ The kittens were able to lay on the sidewalk as they closed their eyes, stilling their bodies enough to cause concern. _There's a forty unmarried woman here in this box-like thing, and she'll treat us like Gods!_ The kitten hoped that the woman they had noted walking around their _former_ ugly owner's nest would be there to spot them, coo, and then pick them up and treat them as the high beings that they were. _He had the audacity to name us after the terrible food the humans eat! I am_ not _a soup! And my littermate is_ not _rice!_ His tail twitched, although it hopefully appeared cute to the stupid humans. _Soon we'll find a place where we belong, Kome, a place with fresh fish and nice soft flesh to pounce on and kneed, and –_

Suddenly the kitten stopped talking. His dark green eyes opened slightly and could see a human standing in front of him and his brother. _A kit,_ the kitten thought. _About the same age as those females._ He meowed, hoping to chase the kit away. Unfortunately, the kittens' fortune ended there, in Miso's opinion. The male kit picked up the almost pure white kitten, and held Miso in his arms as the young cat in vain tried to attack. The sharp claws that he had did nothing to escape this terrible situation he was in, nor did his brother help. _Idiot!_ he hissed as Kome started to rub against the human. _Stop, Kome! It'll only encourage him!_ But his brother didn't listen, and the elder one listened in dismay as Kome started to purr. A hairless paw suddenly started to grab at his neck, and Miso suddenly found himself above the ground, at the mercy of the male kit before him. Through his dark green eyes, the kitten could see that the young human wore strange pelts that their former owner used to wear, only it was white like his fur. There was a strange tail-like object hanging around his neck, and the human had blue eyes. _His hair looks as dark as Kome's, and what is he wearing on his eyes?_ Miso tried to bat at it, but the human hissed, irritated. _Good!_ The kitten thought with glee, purring away. _Now let me go!_ A squeak escaped from him as Miso felt himself being pushed into the human's hairless arm, and felt Kome against his fur as the human started to walk away with his strange two-legged body.

 _This is kidnapping!_ Miso yowled, the precious hard ground fading away as the male kit continued to move. _No, this is_ kit _napping! Why did this human have to come here? We won't have any soft, squishy flesh to kneed our paws onto! He –_ Miso stilled when he found himself on the floor. The kitten surveyed his surroundings, finding the nest surprisingly…empty. There were only a couple of box-like objects in the small den, and Miso sniffed, going further in the den to find a many other box-like objects. Unlike their former owner, the den was clean. _I could even make dirt in here and he wouldn't know!_

The kitten twitched his whiskers, trying to remember what this den was called. _Kitchen!_ Miso thought, and he could see that Kome was exploring as well, jumping on the window and trying to bat at the butterfly. _Play time!_ Miso thought excitedly, when suddenly the human exited from one of his dens and spoke to Kome in his own language. Both of the kitten's tails dropped in disappointment as the delightful plaything flew away, and found themselves in the arms again of the human.

The kittens were dropped onto the floor, and Miso meowed indignantly. The human appeared to be thinking, his paws cupping his chin and the strange objects he wore on his face glinted in the fireball in the sky. _This is boring,_ Miso thought. He examined the den, surprised to find a rather large object in the room. It was shiny, and the kittens tried to go near it before they froze when they heard the human speak.

 _He's mad now,_ Miso sulked as he stared at the plain pelt of the human's bed. There were a couple of boxes as well, but that was all in the room. _Wait._ The kitten jumped on the bed and looked closer at the thin object on top of the box. It was an image of the young kit as an even younger kit with an old human. Miso turned abruptly at the sound of the human's voice, and heard him speaking to them in a serious tone reserved for a time-when-they-could-not-get-treats or not-be-petted-on-the-belly. He almost eased away from the human when the hairless paw suddenly caressed his fur, and Miso found it rather enjoyable. _Your paws are nice,_ Miso thought as he rubbed against the human's paw. The kitten looked up when he saw the male kit speaking to him with his blue eyes.

"… _name…Aoi…brother…Yuri…mine…Ishida Uryuu…"_

 _Those are some strange names,_ the kitten thought as the human left and his brother tried to play with the shiny object. He heard the human shout for the black kitten to stop, and his own whiskers twitched into amusement thinking of the human's expressions.

Thankfully neither of the kittens realized they had been named after flowers…yet.

And so Aoi accepted his new name and watched as the male kit's life unfolded. The kitten thought to himself that the human was nor ordinary human, for he wore even stranger pelts than he did when he went out at night. And when he came back…something _different_ smelled different about him.

 _What's going on with our human, Aoi?_ Yuri meowed as the two lied on the human's face. Although the two had only been with the male kit for about seven sunrises, Aoi and his younger brother had come to think of the human as theirs. Which included having their tiny bodies over the human's face (trying to keep the human warm when in reality they only cared about themselves) and lying on his chest when he was busy. They allowed found it extremely amusing when the human yowled whenever one of them lied down on the box that died whenever the human shut the lid down. The keys, however amusing it was to see their human react in such a manner, were extremely uncomfortable, and both of them had to wash their fur afterward. _Maybe it's about the other female kit in the image,_ Aoi meowed. He saw the human look strangely at the image whenever he walked by the place where he made dirt. Both of the kittens had stared at the picture, surprised by the small smile on their human's face beside the female kit. She had long fur on top of her head like all humans the same color as Yuri's ears, and had gray eyes. What was more was that she had flesh that was _so_ perfect for kneading.

 _She must be his mate,_ Yuri meowed. _When is their mating season again?_

 _I have no idea, Yuri._ Suddenly, the kittens froze, hearing the human struggling to breathe underneath them. The two kittens instantly leaped off the bed and licked their fur, trying to look as innocent as possible as their human stared at them. Unfortunately, both Aoi and Yuri were locked out from the human's nest, no matter how hard they cried and whined. When their human came from his nest with a glare and his fur like it had burrs, the kittens both meowed, _It's not our fault we had to sing the song of our people._

 _So._ Their human was strangely kind today, giving them an extra cup of food each and petting them before he went to…wherever he went. Aoi turned to his brother. _How should we get our human with his mate?_

 _Wait!_ Aoi's tail twitched at the black cat's interruption. _We have to come with a name first! How about…Project Uri?_

Aoi thought about it. Their human's name was Ishida Uryuu, and they _had_ heard murmuring of the female kit's name from their human like older females in the cycle. _Orihime, I think it was. The first letter because of our human's name, and the rest…because of the third and fourth letters in her name._

 _No, Yuri. I think Ishihime would be good._ He tail twitched in excitement. Although Yuri's ship name – he had heard their human reading a strange book and kept on hoping that two humans named _Sasuke_ and _Sakura_ would get together – was…cute, it lacked certainty. Something that their human said a lot. _Project Ishihime. Now._ His dark green eyes glanced at his younger brother's. _How should we start Project Ishihime?_

Their human was pacing nervously and checking a shiny material on his wrist as the hours went by. He wouldn't even try to play with them, or tease them with a ball of yarn he had heavenly given them. Unlike his strange pelts – humans were very strange – their human was wearing slightly more _formal_ pelt as he stood in the kitchen. _I wish we were having human food,_ Aoi whined as the scent of cooked meat wafted in his nostrils. _The meat would be good even if it is cooked! Why is it that humans are afraid to eat it raw? It's so good!_ They had whined and cried for a piece of the deliciousness, but their human was greedy and wouldn't share. The two kittens continued to watch as their human continued to cut up his food. The male kit set down the food on something flat and shiny, although with items that looked like weapons.

"Inoue- _san_ ," their human breathlessly whispered as the human they had seen in the image appeared in the doorway when he opened the door. She was...indeed pretty. Aoi almost growled in annoyance as he heard the noisy breaths their human was making, and was spared a worse fate when their human found the mercy to direct his mate to the food.

"Ishida- _kun_ , you cook so well!" His time with humans had allowed Aoi to understand the language of humans to an extent. His green eyes could see a blush ordain their human's face, and Aoi thought that if he was a cat, this Ishida- _kun_ would be purring. "What are their names?" The female kit suddenly asked, reaching down and trying to torture Aoi and Yuri.

"Aoi and Yuri." Was it Aoi, and did he note a slight change in their human's voice. "I got them –"

"Those are my…flowers!" The kittens suddenly stopped licking themselves and stared at their human as he continued to blush. Suddenly, the poor human found his skin torn and bleeding as the two brothers clawed furiously at him. _Flowers?_ Both kittens thought. They glared furiously at their human as the female kit started to pry them off. _We'll sue you for kitten-naming abuse!_

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on the situation, Aoi and Yuri were lying on the ground as the two humans licked their wounds – or rather, the female kit was healing the male kit's wounds, and both kittens could see of how tense their human – he was _their_ human no matter what stupid uncivilized names he called them! – was, and Aoi twitched his tail in exasperation. _I've had enough of this bullshit!_ Aoi thought as he prowled to the humans. He rubbed his fur against the female's, enough that she slightly started to tip, a growing purr in Aoi's throat as he heard their human lean towards the other to catch her.

Only to find himself licking her lips. _Is it licking?_ Aoi thought. _Or it is something else? Biting …Sucking?_

 _We did it, Aoi!_ Yuri said with a happy meow as the two humans continued to…lick their lips? _Project Uri was a success!_

 _I told you,_ Aoi said with a twitch to his tail, _it's Ishihime! And –_ He could see their human and the female looking at each other. Their paws were intertwined, and the dark green eyes noted of how a true smile was on their human's face – the first they ever saw, and the female saying their human's name gently when Aoi suddenly pounced on her chest.

 _Have four litters of kits!_ The white kitten yowled as his claws gloriously pressed into the soft flesh. _When will you two be mating?_

 _But Aoi!_ Yuri protested as their human attempted to get Aoi off his chest with no avail. _You just called her a female kit not a long time ago!_

 _A kit is not a kit when he or she finds a mate!_ Aoi growled at his brother. _And she has found her mate now, and now we need to plan for when the kits arrive!_

Eventually the two kittens named Aoi and Yuri became thankful for the human they heard their human call Inoue Orihime, for it was only thanks to _her_ they were treated like gods.


End file.
